i got in six miles this morning - not bad, except it was fucking cold. spending an hour running in subfreezing temperatures is not the most fun way to spend a saturday morning. it needs to warm up, pronto.

i can't believe i'm still sober. over four months this time. it's seriously the hardest thing ever. i cry when i want to have a drink but i can't. seriously, who the fuck cries over alcohol? oh yeah, an alcoholic. whoops.

all i do is cry these days. the world and my life are so far from where i want it, and i feel trapped and paralyzed to change it. so, i'll just bawl about it instead, because that is so helpful.

starving + bleeding