i'm a half pound away from my lowest weight in three years.

i can't say that i'm sad about it - a little disappointed in myself, i guess. my psychMD says that my symptoms resurfacing shows that i am ambivalent about recovery. i hate it when he says shit like that. he says that my issues are not my fault, but then he says that and it sounds like he's saying i'm getting sick on purpose so i don't have to recover.

but at the same time i am thrilled...it feels like things are getting right again. except that they are wrong. whatever.

starving + bleeding