so, last month i stopped weekly individual therapy, but i am still going to see my psychMD monthly for "maintenance" and today was the first one.

he asked me if i was acting out on any symptoms and i said i was fine. he asked what that meant and i told him i didn't want to talk about it. i said that i was really tempted to lie about it and i didn't want to lie so i wasn't going to answer. he didn't seem to understand - he said that i was open about it when we were in regular sessions (and i was) but honestly, for some reason i just don't want to open up like that to him anymore. plus i'm afraid that he'll think i'm a big failure at this whole "doing it on my own" experiment.

whatever. i've never pretended to make sense.

starving + bleeding