i feel a little left behind.

a long time ago...2002? geez. i got into the whole "pro ana" online scene - all the message boards out there - i was a member at one time or another.

i became a part of my current one about 1.5 years ago. and i don't really belong there anymore. they are all having babies and talking about how healthy they are.

i'm angry with them. i want to talk about calories and compete as to who ran the farthest yesterday. who can lose the most in a week.

but they've grown up and moved along...to bigger and better things, perhaps. and i'm older than most of them, and it's like i'm the one who can't let go of high school. the loser who still carries around her yearbook ten years later.

whatever.

starving + bleeding