ok, so i get my therapy at the hospital's clinic. they do a lot of research there and there are big important shrinks that supervise other shrinks (lol). anyway - i've been working for awhile with this guy and he's been doing a very specific kind of therapy with me, something that's been developed for the treatment of borderline PD. it's actually been working a bit with me, much more than any other kind has, and has a lot of promise.

anyway, t was researching the bigwig behind this new treatment and found a huge (like 140 pages) article that he wrote about this new treatment. it outlines EVERYTHING, from all the phases of treatment to specific situations to all aspects of treating "the patient" and everything else. i've just looked at the table of contents.

do i read it?

one part says, i should inform myself as much as i can about my own treatment. the other part says, perhaps this is stuff that i need to learn THROUGH treatment, and not read about it. if i know too much about it, does the "magic" disappear? if i see my therapist's hand, does that affect his ability to help me?

do i educate myself as much as possible? or do i "pay no attention to that man behind the curtain?"

starving + bleeding