i am soooo sore!

i've spent the last three days training to be a kickboxing instructor. Three long days of kicking and punching and kicking and punching. my body is hating me right now.

to bring this around to weight, which of course i always do, i was the fattest girl there. i am GROSS!! the next biggest girl was probably a size 0. ughhhhh...plus with all that exercise i ate like a hog...it was awful to punch and see my arm flab fly...plus my legs were so fucking heavy...i'm sure i would kick a hell of a lot better if i wasn't carrying around all this fucking extra weight!! plus then maybe i wouldn't feel like i am about to pass out after only one song.

the instructor was blathering on about how she's on a diet. i'm like, god if she needs to diet i need to never eat again. she has these beautiful muscles and could probably fit in my pocket.

sigh. i hate this shit. i already feel embarrased to teach my dance class. i refuse to get up in front of another set of people looking so fucking fat!! what the hell kind of example am i setting!?!? i am mortified.

starving + bleeding