i am absolutely mortified.

i started group therapy about a month ago. today in group i was not able to participate as i was (quite visibly) very distressed.

after group the Dr. asked me to stay after and talked with me for about 30 minutes, wherein i completely lost it and he had to talk me down from the rafters.

as we were finishing up, he said quite benignly that he would be charging me for the extra time we spent together. i don't know why, it just set me off and i laid into him, how dare he charge me extra when i just paid for group and if i had known i wouldn't have stayed, blah blah blah. he said, well if that was the case, then he wouldn't charge me and i tore out of there in a huff.

I. AM. MORTIFIED. i can't believe i did that!! he's a professional, his time is valuable, and i'm receiving the benefit of his mucho extensive education that he paid for. i'm receiving services, of course i should pay for them!!! i would hardly expect a client to sit in my office for 30 minutes and receive my legal advice for free!!!

i wrote him a letter apologizing and included a check. i am so embarrassed. i feel so fucking stupid. he HELPED me and this is how i repay him!?!? GOD. how will i ever face him next week???

starving + bleeding