inspired my miedema...

January

i rang in the new year in the hospital. I went in the day after Christmas and stayed til the 9th. it was my fourth stay since October '06. Major stress from being unemployed. Relationship with t was very rocky. i also found out my mom was trying to break us up - on the grounds that he deserved better than dealing with me.

February

losing weight. deep depression. job interviews. trying to connect with my therapist.

March

the end of dbt. my therapist making an issue of my ed and my promptly telling him to fuck off. finally found a job. trying to pretend to be a lawyer. feeling paralyzed about the wedding. cutting is pretty bad. continuing drama with t. postponing the wedding - going on a "break"

April

broke up with t and moved out. my mom yelling at me for the breakup. bad bad bad cutting. stiches. hallucinations in overdrive. binging starting to get out of control.

May

horrid depression. hookups. not eating. suicide attempts.

June

purging six times a day. roadblocks in therapy. being broke. the loss of eva. started talking to t again. paranoia/anxiety resurfacing.

July

back together with t. purging. embarrasment at work. going vegan. got re-engaged

August

my best friend ditching me for good. purging is insane. wedding planning. cutting.

September

fat fat fat. trying to stop drinking. can't stop crying.

October

more wedding planning. tori amos concert. hallucinations get really bad.

November

wedding. honeymoon. failing miserably at NaNo. birthday. giving up cutting. my relationship going into crisis.

December.

holidays. more problems with t.

well. what a year. i don't think it was the greatest - here's hoping for a brighter 2008.

starving + bleeding