i don't know what else to do.

he screams and screams at me. Thursday was awful. Everything from why the hell didn't i get him a Hannukah card (he doesn't celebrate it!) to why didn't i wring out the sponge in the sink to why the hell did i get married when i know i'm crazy to i'm nothing but a lazy selfish person who doesn't do a damn thing for him. i don't cook enough, or clean enough, or buy him things or act like a wife.

i don't know how to get him to stop. i told him yesterday that i didn't want to talk to him and i wanted him to leave me alone. he's trying to talk to me like nothing's wrong and when i don't answer him he yells that i'm immature and what the hell's wrong with me and why the hell did i get married...i know that not talking to him is juvenile but I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO!! he picks at me and if i engage him trying to explain or defend myself it gets worse. i don't want to talk like everything's ok because i don't want to send the message (like i have every other time) that this behavoir is ok and i'll "just get over it."

i'm hurting so fucking much - i can't stop crying - i love him so much and i would do anything for him!! why can't he appreciate it - why isn't that enough? Why is he treating me like this?

i hate being home...nothing is ever right and i'm walking on eggshells the whole time worrying about setting him off. but not talking to him sets him off anyway.

i feel so stupid. if i put up with this i feel stupid. if i want to bail on a marriage that's six weeks old i feel stupid. i can't win. i hate myself.

starving + bleeding