it's been almost a month since i last cut. i know, i can't believe it either, especially with all this shit that's been happening. the funny thing is, i'll start falling really low because of a fight or something he said or whatever, but when cutting crosses my mind, something else flashes in my head like a hot red poker: HE IS NOT FUCKING WORTH IT.

now there's a development.

i am still restricting though, and exercising kinda like a maniac. i know that soon i'll run out of energy and i need to get in as much exercise as possible. i was at the gym for over three hours today - but it felt good, i exhausted every ounce of tension left in my body. i love getting to that point, where your body is just too tired to care anymore.

i just wish i could drop weight faster than this...i have so far to go.

starving + bleeding