i'm crashing like you would not believe.

i had my yearly pap visit with my ob/gyn and she walks in, takes one look at me and says "what's wrong?' which of course sent me into the blubberhood of tears. i never really said anything of substance...what was bothering me the most at that particular point was the fact that her scale said i weighed 10 pounds more than my home scale did. even though i know her scale must be off with people getting on and off it all day, still. what a fucking nightmare.

i need to switch meds. i'm on wellbutrin (among others). the times i've tried to go off wellbutrin, yeah i've felt even shittier so it must do something for me, but at the same i really don't think i should be feeling THIS FUCKING MISERABLE all the time, praying for fucking death to get me out of here. i've already tried lexapro, paxil, prozac, effexor (the demon pill from hell) and wellbutrin, along with assorted others like lithium, klonopin, seroquel, Risperdal, trazadone.

anyone have any ideas?

starving + bleeding