how cute is it that my fiance is terrified of spiders and when he sees one i have to come get it?!

rough therapy today. i don't what's going on with me but the last few times i have NOT wanted to go!! like really...i'd rather have a fucking root canal. it's this terrified feeling... but of course i have this weird sense of obligation to no one in particular and so i go...today i had barely sat down and i started bawling and got up and said that i couldn't be there and i had to leave...he convinced me to stay but we never really figured out what the hell is going on with me...you know, sometimes that's the worst fucking part. if i'm feeling shitty all the time i would feel at least a little redeemed if i knew WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!! he asks and asks and i DON'T FUCKING KNOW!! plus he's going away next week so i won't see him for two weeks. he somehow managed to get out of me how pissed off i get at him when he's gone...now that's fucking embarrasing. he prolly thinks i'm such a fucking loser, i can't get along without him for two weeks and how stupid i am to get mad at him for taking a well earned break.

don't we sound like a dysfunctional couple?

anyway, today was major waterworks...as in i'm going to wake up in the morning with my eyes so puffy i won't be able to open. why am i such a fucking crybaby!? i'm 27 for crying out loud. i'm the same emotional wreck i was at four.

plus i only lost two pounds this week. fuck.

aren't i so fucking cheerful.

starving + bleeding