i'm so fucking depressed. i'm in a fucking hole and i can't climb out.

sunday is mother's day. i'm ignoring it. my mother's a fucking cunt. ignoring mother's day should go over well.

yesterday in therapy my doctor asked me if what i wanted was somebody to be truly close, to know everything and to love and accept me with all their heart and to always always be there.

tears ran down my face and i whispered "that is the one thing i want the most in the whole world, and it is the one thing that i am so afraid that i will never have."

he said "well. we've been working for months. and you've finally told me."

starving + bleeding