thanks to all for your kind words - i have NO intention of breaking up with t, but i tell you, when my frustration levels get THIS HIGH i sometimes do really fucking stupid things. like sabotage my beautiful relationship.

Although it turns out i may not be the only one trying to disturb our relationship. apparently right after i went inpatient, my mom tried to get tony to go on an extended vacation abroad...while i was in the hospital!! t's like "uhh, no, i'm not leaving her" and the next day she said "you shouldn't marry her, she's sick, you'll regret it, find someone else.."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can you believe it? my own mother telling my finace to go off and find someone else. he just told me about it the other day - he thought i had told her i didn't want to marry him and she was trying to drop hints to him - that's why he'd been so strange lately.

i want to confront her so bad! t won't let me cause he thinks that might harm his relationship with her as mother in law cause she'll know it was him that told me.

i am still reeling...

starving + bleeding