my therapist is "very impressed" with me - which i guess makes me kinda happy...at our session last night we were just sitting there staring at each other, they way we usually do b/c i never feel like i have anything to say, and he doesn't want to drive the session (apparently i'm supposed to??)

so anyway, after sitting for awhile i just blurted out how badly i wanted to drink, i've been sober for 4 months and DAKMNIT i want a FUCKING drink and from then on we talked the rest of the session, not just about alcohol but wherever the discussion led...it was kinda cool, kinda strange, and it went by really fast...i felt kinda shitty when i left but he said i'm not always going to feel good after our sessions.

i guess i should start thinking of something for Monday? honestly i think it was a fluke, i really never have anything to say at these things - whatever he asks me i can tell him, but i just can't seem to pull out anything significant from my brain.

i still want a drink though...

starving + bleeding