thanks to all who have been incredibly sweet and supportive...it really means so much...

as of yet i can't find a job...i have 27 cents to my name which doesn't help with my stability AT ALL.

nor does the fact that my fiance and i are on very thin ice...during my last stay in the hospital he was all about trashing my meds, the hospital, my doctors, everything he could shit on. he left me in tears every time he came to visit...i thought things would be different once i got home but he's still doing it...i told him about it and said how i thought our relationship was going down and now he's kissing my ass, being all loveable and sweet...

i really don't need this confusion right now - it's hard enough to get out of bed and just breathe...

starving + bleeding