...oh no no you can't disguise...

why is it that the asshole with fucking consumption has to sit next to ME in the fucking library so all day long i have to listen to his labored breathing and constant HACKING. and every once in awhile he'll come up with a really juicy one and have to run to the bathroom with his hand clapped over his mouth to catch all the phlegm. yummy. i could move but DAMNIT this is MY fucking carrel and i LIKE it. go take some fucking castor oil or something.

to take a much needed break from studying went to mall armed with "friends and family" discount coupons for a couple stores. went apeshit tho - didn't really have the money to buy anything so instead i bought everything. makes sense right? it is really a compulsion, a high, a craziness that takes over. i'm sure there's a clinical term for it, as there is for everything, but now all i can say is buyer's remorse. but not bad enough to make the trip back to the mall to return everything. too far. and can't take any more breaks anyway.

i did buy the right sizes for the first time tho - i've been shuffling around in baggy shit for forever. i would buy my old size out of fear if i bought something smaller i would take it home and it would suddenly not fit.

seriously i am two seconds away from punching this asshole.

the dizziness is getting worse. it definitely takes me awhile to stand up. and my heart races a lot, often for no reason. although scary these symptoms are familiar and it feels good to be home, in a weird way. down another pound - those are awesome words.

ok this guy's getting a new asshole. see ya...

starving + bleeding