ughhhhhh. i'm so sick. i've been on my back since thursday afternoon. definitely the flu. so why am i at school do you ask? because now i'm officially behind in my work. i'd rather be quietly lying at home wondering how close this feels to death, but no. i'm reading about goddamn jurisdiction, bundled up in two sweaters even though it's 80 degrees already b/c i have the goddamn chills. and snot is dripping on my computer. i feel sexy.

and the kicker is, i was actually starting to feel a little better sat eve. so much so, in fact, that i let one of my friends talk me into going out for "just an hour or so." fast forward to five am when i stumble home completely wasted. sunday i woke up feeling worse than i ever have - and not hangover bad, but "goddamn it what's wrong with you, you have the FLU and you were out getting drunk in the RAIN for crying out loud, now you're really gonna get the ass end of this disease" bad.

the upside is that my voice is all craggly and rough - i sound like a torch singer. or car01 chann1ng.

my parents invited me home for thanksgiving. i think they sense how homesick i am. how is it possible that i'm more homesick my third year at law school than my first two? perhaps the uncertainty of the future is triggering an urge to return to the womb.

i need to start on my outlines. i always say this mid-semester, yet i never do. this time will be different.

oh, and my streak of no drinking ended spectacularly sat night. after close to three weeks. oh well. starting over....here we go...at least being sick is preventing me from even having the urge to eat.

tomorrow is my one year anniversary of keeping this diary. can't decide whether to smile or cry...

starving + bleeding