god.

i hate so much about myself. i hate everything. i hate my body, my face, my hair. i hate the sound of my voice, the way i talk, the way i walk. i hate how stupid i am, the fact that i don't know or understand ANYTHING. i hate that i am horrible socially. i hate that i never know what to say to people. i hate that i think nasty and evil things about people all the time. i hate that i'm such a bitch. i hate that i'm so insecure. i hate that i'm lazy. i hate that i have absolutely no redeeming qualities and that i am the most selfish person i know.

most of all, i hate that i don't know how to change any of this. i don't know if it's possible TO change all or any of this. i am just slamming my head against the wall again and again because i am NOT who i am supposed to be! i am supposed to be BETTER than this. and i'm not.

every molecule, every atom, every cell, is a piece of shit. i can't live like this. i need to become someone else.

starving + bleeding