so i had the appointment with the new guy today. i was so fucking nervous going in there. i guess i was worried i would go in there and sit and he would ask what i wanted and i would have to come up with some big speech or something but it was a lot better than that - he just asked me questions and i answered them - that's something i can do. a lot of where i get stuck in my current therapy is that i'm supposed to just bring in whatever i want and talk about it and we go from there. it was nice to just answer questions - it won't always be that way, but for an introduction it took a little of the pressure off.

he wants to call my current MD and discuss me - i told him to hold off until i'm sure that we'll be working together. but i hate hate hate being "discussed." i hate being talked about by my doctors - it almost feels like they're conspiring against me - i know they are trying to help me but i can't help but feel uncomfortable and suspicious.

bleh. plus he says i should get a nutritionist. fuck. just what i need - one more "professional" in my life. having someone plan a menu doesn't mean i'll be able to eat it. or keep it down.

starving + bleeding