couples counseling with t today. this shit is tough.

one thing the therapist pointed out was how i jump to negatively interpret everything he says. and that is so true. he could say the sky was blue and i'd say "so what are you saying? that you hate me?" i kept doing it over and over at the appointment and the therapist kept pointing it out to me. i felt like the biggest shrew, but i couldn't help myself. whatever he said was wrong. i am appalled at myself. geez. i was being a righteous bitch.

another thing we talked about was being resposible for only our own feelings. like, he was venting about how stressed this was making him, and i said that i felt like that put pressure on me to reassure him, to say the right things like, oh we'll be fine, or it'll get better soon. but she said that's not my responsibility. he's just talking about his feelings, which he's entitled to, but he's responsible for his own feelings. it's not my job to say the right thing to put him at ease. it's just my job to listen. i found that to be quite the interesting concept...

i do this a LOT. and not just with him. i negtively interpret what people say and then jump miles down the line and try to figure out what's expected of me and try to accomodate what i think they want.

it's not all about me. not everything is personal. this is something we've been going over in group as well (not taking everything personally).

man. i have so much to learn.

starving + bleeding