knowing that polly from Thin died is making me so sad. sad because she felt all that pain. and sad because i know that pain. that pain is infused into every cell of my body.

what's the difference between her and me?

i'm still alive.

but not for lack of trying.

what does it mean? i don't know. i'm not making any sense.

the news just touched something very raw in me. and now there's a ripple effect richoceting around my head.

i'm tired.

starving + bleeding