i don't know what to do.

i've been married three whole weeks.

he yells at me. he says i bring him nothing but misery. he says that i'm always going to cut, even though i'm trying to change. he says all i care about is alcohol, even though i've given it up. he accuses me of doing drugs and last night searched all of my drawers looking for drugs (i haven't done drugs in years, way before i met him). he says he can't stand his life with me. he doesn't believe anything i say.

then 15 minutes later he tells me he loves me, i'm his baby, i'm his sweetie, he loves me so much. when i try to confront him about what he says he asks me what am i talking about. When i push he gets mad and says all i care about is the negative and i'm just going to go cut anyway.

i can't stop crying. this is hurting me so much.

starving + bleeding