wow. two in one day. go. me.

i am so tempted (sitting on my hands tempted) to cancel my therapy on tuesday. i've just been feeling more and more hopeless lately. the last thing i feel like doing is bawling and sobbing about how unhappy i am and feeling embarrassed about it, AGAIN. this has been a twice weekly affair for months. i just don't know what he could say that would make any difference at all.

i am really losing hope. i'm feeling more and more suicidal. i need to find some way to save myself (the small meek myself) from all the other selves that are all working together to destroy me. how am i supposed to get that part out?? if i stay in here i will surely die.

perhaps i'm being overdramatic (wouldn't be the first time) but i do feel this sense of urgency that something had better happen and fast before i really get into trouble.

starving + bleeding