well it's saturday night, and i'm feeling low...t's over at his dad's so i'm free to feel as i feel, which is nice, i guess...i try to put up a good front for him, mainly to convince him that i'm not going back to the hospital, but also i know how hard it is in general for him to see me this way...but anyway, he's not here, so i can wallow as i please...

it's just one of those nights where i put on the utterly despairing music and feel every note, and let it all go. not necessarily cry - the tears aren't coming very easy these days - but to sink into the dark place that has been my home for so long for so many times...it's a comfort - it opens and welcomes me into its dark bosom and wraps me away. i feel like shit - but in a good, comfortable way.

the only thing missing is the red wine.

damn sobriety.

starving + bleeding