man this is not the place to be if you detest the cold (like i do).

apparently central new york has been on the national newa and the weather channel because of all the FUCKING SNOW we're getting on a daily basis, as well as temps in the -15 range after wind chill....i never want to leave my bed in general but now it is close to impossible.

i was home alone for most of the day yesterday, until my therapy session. i could NOT stop thinking about the knife carousel we keep in the kitchen. i would go stare at it....force myself to walk away...come back and stare again, maybe pick up a knife and slam it back into place. finally i couldn't take it anymore and i left 3 hours early for therapy - drove around and then waited for an eternity in the waiting room. i knew that if stayed i would have used them.

knives scare me. i usually use razor blades and small things like that - but when i use knives i'm talking serious damage.

it's sad that i had to physically remove myself from them. i wish i had had the strength to stay...

whatever.

starving + bleeding