so i'm sure this is too much information, but i have to take a crap the size of the Taj Mahal....seriously. but nothing is coming out!! this is a terribly uncomfortable situation - i've been to the loo about 50 times today but to no avail...my ass starts laughing at me "ha!! you motherfucker!! you're going to be stopped up forever!! so FUCK YOU"

all because i went to dinner with my dad last night - usually when i have a somewhat "normal" (ha!) meal it comes out a little too fast, if ya know what i'm saying...but not this time...my intestines have become a fucking vise...

maybe i'll have some more coffee...

i know, thanks for sharing...just know that at this moment i am far more uncomfortable than you...

starving + bleeding