i feel, very strangely, that my life is passing me by. i know time ticks for everyone but here i sit and i feel like i am MISSING something. like i could be out there being great and i am missing it.

perhaps i missed my "chance" a long time ago and am only now realizing it.

but i know that we have to have more than one chance. but what i think my fatal flaw is that i can not make a choice. i can not choose a direction in which to excell because i want to excell in all directions RIGHT NOW. which leaves my hands hopelessly tied.

then there's the whole mental instability thing. that puts a hitch in the giddy up too...

starving + bleeding