isn't it awful when you can feeeel yourself gaining weight?? i swear i stood in front of the mirror today and SAW my tummy pooch expand. WHY won't it GO THE FUCK AWAY!?!?!!??! even as i lay here typing i feel myself expanding, spreading like ooze....

why can't i just rip out the fat?? just rip it out, cut it off, something....SOMETHING.

i'm sure a shrink could easily see the connection between what i want to do to fat and what i want to do to myself. i want to rip myself out. cut myself off, obliterate and destroy.

where did these feelings come from?

if we could give and take these feelings at will there would be no need for a jail system. this alone is hell enough...i can't think of a better deterrent than the threat of being trapped in your own body.

your own prison.

starving + bleeding