well in fact i did not cut last night.

no, instead i got stinking drunk and became a whore.

oh wait i already am one.

why is it when i'm wasted i call up people i'm not even attracted to and have them come over and fuck me?

plus this chick has a girlfriend who is a friend of mine. fuck fuck fuck.

i can't promise i won't cut today. getting wasted and fucking didn't zero out the pain - it contributed more. another rough night ahead. but NO FUCKING ALCOHOL!!!!

why is it so hard for me to beat this?

trying again for the millionth time (are ya'll sick of reading this statement in practically every entry? cause i know i'm sick of needing to write it)

NO MORE ALCOHOL EVER FUCKING AGAIN.

god i am such a slut. fuck.

i really have turned out terribly, haven't i? and i had so much potential too.

down two and a half more pounds, in spite of alcohol binge. at least i have that. but am still fat. goddamnit.

starving + bleeding