i'm actually feeling ok this morning. is that allowed? well anyway. i think part (or the main) reason i feel ok is that i feel like i can take a deep breath and relax. when i was away i felt panicked all the time - how was i going to restrict, how was i going to work out, how was i going to live my life the way i want to - which of course i couldn't. away from my natural environment i was living for other people, working hard to keep their long developed perceptions of me...i wanted them to be able to hang onto them, i didn't want them to change. it's exhausting. but now i'm back, i'm here, i am alone again, i can relax. the morning dawned bright and new and i packed some celery, crackers, and raw spinach for the day as well as my gym bag. yes. things will slowly get back to normal and i will be able to be myself again.

what kind of asshole would steal a beautiful landmark work of art from the rest of the world? may he rot...

starving + bleeding