the place i'm interning took us to memphis for the weekend.

keep in mind this whole internship thing is, at the very least, a six week interview. if they like me, i get a job offer for after i graduate. if they don't, then i'm stuck with 140k of loans and no job.

i ate nothing all week. fri night in memphis we went out to bars. don't remember much. but i do remember the hiring manager having to drag me back to the hotel with me screaming and crying and hitting him. i don't know what i was saying or why i was upset. his wife had to undress me and put me to bed. i think i called her a "fucking bitch whore" at some point.

i haven't wanted to kill myself this much in a fucking long time. don't worry, i won't. but i feel destroyed. so much for my fucking future.

starving + bleeding