i told my therapist about some of my more disturbing symptoms...he knows that i hear things and that it gets worse when i'm more depressed but things are slightly different...like usually when i hear things they come out of thin air...well last week i was in the bookstore and the books started talking to me, telling me their stories...i also sometimes see weird things, like it looks like walls and doors are melting and people's heads are oozing. it doesn't happen very often but when it does, man, shit is WEIRD. usually it doesn't bother me, i just feel really fucking odd, but a couple weeks ago when my bathroom was melting and it started roaring in my ears i felt a real dominant sense of menace so i ran and climbed into the tub and gulped a handful of seroquel. that tweaked the hell out of me.

he asked me if i lost time and there's been a couple times when i "wake up" and i don't really remember what happened but most times i just get caught up in listening what's going on and before i know it a chunk of time has passed...

i don't really know what this all means...one of my diagnoses is major depressive disorder with psychotic features but this is changing...i went a long time just hearing voices and sounds on occasion...why is it different? these things are happening from time to time....why? why every so often and not constant? what triggers them? are they eventually going to become constant? am i officially losing my fucking mind?

what the fuck is going on?

starving + bleeding