thanks to you who gave me the congrats - i'm over the mooon - i never thought that i would be in this position - ME!! - but i've somehow managed to meet a gorgeous, awesomely kind man. in that i feel truly blessed....

in other news...

weight going down again...one of my friends was sick in the hospital and lost a ton of weight - in a total sick way i found it triggering - no matter what weight she got to i HAD to be skinnier - you'd think i'd be past that competition shit. hells noooo - besides, i can't believe i let myself get this fat anyway - i was almost back at my pre-law school weight and well, that's just horrifying...it's just next to impossible around t - he's constantly cooking and drinking - and i had to cut things down so gradually - hell, sometimes i miss the single days - when i could five crackers and that's it and no one gave a damn -

i guess we're never happy, are we?!?!

took a bath in bloody water today - don't know where it came from but it was there -

starving + bleeding