ugh i can't study another minute. i'm so sick of this i can't stand it, can't stand it, can't FUCKING stand it.

we took a practice exam - i ranked in the 34% percentile. not good. failure, if that had been the real deal. it motivated me to study yesterday but for some reason i can't get going today...maybe cause i've gained a pound and that's all i can think about. or because it's beautiful out and i want to go outside. or because it's been AGES AND AGES since i've been laid.

i told someone that if i failed the first time i wouldn't take it again. they looked at me like i was nuts. i can't go through this again. i can't.

it is so frustrating to work so long and so hard for something you don't even want.

i was hearing things again last night. things that weren't there. it freaks me out...

starving + bleeding