now that i'm back home i'm seeing a lot of people that i haven't seen in awhile. the FIRST thing they ask, i swear, is if i have a boyfriend. as if that is the most important thing on earth. no, i don't have a boyfriend. or a girlfriend. but i don't tell them the last part - i'm really not sure what to do about that - no one here knows i'm bisexual - i realized it when i was down in new orleans. i figure if i meet someone i really like that's a girl i'll handle it then. isn't that just chickenshit of me?? oh well. i guess i'm just of the mentality that i'll cross that bridge when i get there.

but the thing is - relationships have never been important to me (romantic relationships, that is) i've never needed anyone else in my life. i get laid when i want to, besides that there really isn't anything i crave. i guess my psyche is fully aware that i'm in no position to be in a grown up relationship anyway, so why want one? i feel so much pity though, for my friends who can't stand to be alone, who cling to guys no matter how shitty they treat them - i have never understood that sort of thinking. but maybe they feel pity for me for being alone all the time?? who knows.

i love my independence and solitude. what can i say??

starving + bleeding