have an appt with substance abuse counselor. i need to ask her about her confidentiality policy - i realized that i've been more honest with her than i ever have been with any mental health "professional" (and i use that term pretty fucking loosely) but for some reason after a couple months i was able to trust her somewhat. anyway, so i'm being fairly honest and i have no idea what she can do with that information...i've been having nightmares about her and all the different ways she can betray me - i know it's just dreams but i'm not entirely convinced that they don't mean something...

eight days without alcohol. i was jumping out of my skin last night - i had taken an excruciating final yesterday morning and wanted nothing more than a fucking drink (or ten) to relax me - but i couldn't. so instead of jumping out of my skin i tore up my skin instead. i need to go to the store and get more gauze and shit. i'm wearing these punk-esque fingerless gloves that almost come up to my elbows......fashion statement with a practical side - in next month's Cutter's Vogue - cover cuts yet look in style all at once!!

bleh. have to study more....damn finals

starving + bleeding