hey hey hey

i'm thinking of breaking my unbreakable rule. i'm thinking of going to the counseling center. i swore i never would, i swore that therapists are evil and it all is a complete waste of time for me, but at the same time graduation is around the corner and i feel like i need to do something to try and get my head in order before i am unleashed into the "real world" without an ounce of sanity to my name - absolutely no fighting chance under those circumstances. but at the same time the counseling center's policies are the biggest joke. a student is limited to five sessions, then they are referred off campus to a professional who my bare bones overpriced health insurance won't cover. doesn't that make you feel like they really care? they see you five times, perhaps start to develop some trust and then shove you out the door, never to come back. talk about a waste.

also i don't know if i could be honest. i mean, obviously time is at a premium with these people, so beating around the bush wouldn't cut it. i'd have to walk in and say, "here's the deal: standing before you is an eating disordered bipolar anxiety ridden alcoholic sexually confused cutter. any thoughts?"

i don't think i could be that honest.

starving + bleeding